You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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