I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
