ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
