I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I am puke
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
