sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
