You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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