It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
