i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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