That's when you crack a 10am beer
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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