Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
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