I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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