Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
