I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
pop tarts are not kleenex
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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