no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
im calling her cock vulture from now on
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
