Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
