none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
