We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
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