All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
