Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
