Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
