Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
