(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize
