I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
