Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
