I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
