ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
