soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
and she was petting her beer can
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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