NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
