I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
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