VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
