Pregnant stripper...not hot.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Randomize