If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
