i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize