I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
