i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
