careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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