dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
