We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
