woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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