Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
