apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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