He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize