i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
