I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
this just has baby written all over it
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize