I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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