I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
