I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Randomize
