Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize