I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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