how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
