He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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