um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
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