wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
