Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize