Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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