So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize