yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize