I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
