what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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