So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
