this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize