I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
