i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
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