Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
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