I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
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