Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Randomize
