just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
