would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
im holly from the hills drunk
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize