How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
you never un-have a 4some
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
